3 Reasons why jumping into the future will not help you
Once upon a time I couldn’t wait to get to my dream life; my destination was what mattered. No waiting around, no working through problems; I just wanted to be zapped to a place of happiness. I’d had enough of the mountains to climb, the mean people, the bullying.
But now, I know better than to wish my life away.
Having a vision in your life, and staying focused on your goal, shows remarkable positivity and tenacity, whichever area of your life you are working on. While it is commendable to possess such courage, forgetting to enjoy the journey will rob you from the richness you gather along the path, for the journey is as important as the destination. The experiences you live on your way, form a big part of who you are.
When you are inspired and encouraged to live a more fulfilled life, to improve your personal circumstances and appreciate yourself for who and what you are, or to follow your dream, the excitement of that vision can be thrilling. The idea of enjoying that new You, confident and happy, might drive you to wish that you could be there NOW.
But your journey will reveal valuable lessons, lessons that will empower you.
1. You will learn valuable lessons
The path you are taking may present obstacles, difficult tasks, emotional moments and frustrations. It may cause you to cry, to scream, to feel despair at times, but it will also fill you with smiles, with pride for your achievements, with ‘Eureka’ moments and with powerful knowledge you have gathered en route.
Emotions you feel while you work through a problem, or you celebrate a milestone, will equip you with vital data for the future. You will be able to use the memory of how it felt, to give you courage and wisdom when another hurdle appears on the track.
The ability to feel emotions and learn from them is part of our ‘intelligence’. Those who claim that in order to make sensible decisions we must step away from emotions, because intelligence is rational, while emotion is animalistic and instinctive, seem to have a misconception about the intelligence of emotions. ‘Our emotions are crucial for mediating social interactions, which are one of the most complex environments in which human exists’ says Professor Frank Amthor.
Across animal species, those who are the most intelligent have tendency to be social or at least come from social species. Emotion is used in complicated social interactions.*
Furthermore, our brain uses the experiences in our lives, the emotions attached to the memories, to build feelings around those, and a sense of understanding. We learn by watching, listening, doing, experiencing, feeling and nothing is ever wasted; all contributes to the end result, to the person you are.
If you jumped straight onto the vision you long for, you would miss the learning curve needed to understand and appreciate many facets of life.
Our frontal lobe function is essential for insight, common sense and adaptability. It is the part of the brain that will show us how we need to react to a specific situation, using our innate wisdom. When we learn from our mistakes, we devise something new. When something no longer works, we try something new. But it is only through living these experiences that we learn to adapt to a new situation.
Another essential aspect of the learning process is living through the ‘contrast’. When you come across the opposite of what you desire, you gain a clearer picture of what you do want.
This is undoubtedly a crucial stage in understanding what you want to build in life. Without this contrast, as painful as it may be, you couldn’t have such a clear feeling of what you like and you don’t like. Allow yourself to learn from this contrast, instead of letting it break your spirit.
Any road you take will have its own learning curve. And that is what makes you a courageous person. It is not the lack of emotions, and staying matter-of-fact or cold to situations. It is the attitude you adopt when you are down and how you get up again, to continue on your path. It is applying the new found knowledge in order to create the life you desire.
And it is about more than just knowledge. It is also about people.
2. On your path, you come across amazing people
While you are navigating towards your vision, you cannot help but meet new people along the way. Your desire for the life you want, will bring to you help, support and guidance in a human form.
Walking your way to your dream life will bless you with awe-inspiring mentors, magnificent supporters, caring teachers, people who will share your views and will cheer you on, professionals who will share their knowledge, and new friends who will appreciate who you are, just for you.
The richness and diversity of human encounters is a treasure not to miss. The Universe always delivers what you ask for; it is for you to see it out there and allow it in your life.
Your present friends will encourage you and feel excited for you, wanting to share your enthusiasm and cheer you along the way. It is possible that your courage and determination will inspire others to follow their own vision.
Inevitably, you will face negative people, those who will mock you, belittle your efforts, attempt to deviate you from your course, and feel jealous of your achievements. But this is also a lesson to learn about yourself, for the way we react to others says more about ourselves than them. You will learn that their reactions is about their own insecurities.
How people treat you is a reflection of what they are; how you react to them is a reflection of you.
Do not compromise yourself to spare someone else’s insecurities.
When I started caring for myself and learnt to be assertive, some ‘old’ friends chose to disappear from my life. My new found confidence and self-respect was unwelcome by some, probably not because they wished me harm, but when I started believing in myself, and in my worthiness, they lived it according to their own insecurities.
I blessed them all and let them go, and I learnt that my life was my own to create, regardless of someone’s opinions or pressures.
3. You create wonderful memories along the way
Every second of your life is an opportunity to create beautiful memories.
For every hurdle I had to confront, I also had plenty of wonderful and happy moments. I treasure all my memories. At times of despair I created beautiful friendships. New friends appeared who transformed and enhanced my life. It doesn’t matter if they walked a long way with me, or not, I appreciate them dearly.
When I prayed for a solution to be delivered by the Universe, someone delivered it with love and compassion, or with strength and wisdom. At times it was like a gentle breeze, other times it was a carnival with majestic fireworks, other times it was very humbling. Those moments compensated for the hard times.
I have created wonderful memories with my children, and still do, sharing holidays, picnics, laughter, family reunions abroad. Regardless of the lessons I was learning in life, I simply built up the courage to continue creating magical memories with them because that was so special. I made extra effort because I wanted something to be positive, when the difficult times struck.
I could have chosen to remain in a depressive state while blaming the endless difficulties of life, but I wished to enjoy the most precious people in my life.
Wherever you are on your journey, creating wonderful memories with the people around you is what will remain when you are marching on, or when you look one day at the treasures you have accumulated.
Those wonderful memories will be the tapestry of your life. So, what do you want it to look like?
I have learnt to appreciate every lesson, every person and every memory. As for my destination? I don’t know the ultimate destination; all I know so far, is that I have a vision, a dream and I want to enjoy every step walking towards it. I do believe that with each step I achieve, another one will present itself. It is a continuous journey, and the destination will continue changing.
Enjoy every step you take on your journey and never be in such a hurry to get there..! Your journey will reveal valuable lessons, lessons that will empower you, and will bring you great courage, wonderful people, and magnificent memories.