As I decided to create a better life for myself, accept and love myself for who and what I was, and follow my dreams, I was saddened to realise that some of my friends were not the best support. In fact, some didn’t like my new found assertiveness and positive attitude, and did not react with much enthusiasm to my new self-respect and excitement, at building a better life for myself and my children.
Changes are inevitable in life. As you create your own life, you innovate, develop and evolve through time and experiences. Friends’ assistance at this time is invaluable; they have travelled some of the way with you, so who better to support your changes?
But the older you are, the harder some friends or family will adjust to your new direction, and the more objections and doubt you will encounter.
Soon, you might start wondering why those closest to you find it so difficult to assist you in your new venture. After all, you are not asking them to live it with you completely, but to offer understanding and encouragement.
While you may be right to feel disappointed, there are some valid reasons why those people don’t seem to find it in them to assist you actively.
The reaction of others, faced with your new choices, has very little to do with you and more to do with them.
Human interactions are a lot more complex than we appreciate. Without much understanding, and often unknowingly, we pigeon-hole the people around us. We like to file each person under a specific category, somehow it feels safe. We can almost predict their behaviour, their reactions, their thoughts.
When you decide to make big changes in your life: build your confidence, adopt healthier choices, embark on a new professional enterprise, or even invest in major personal developments, it may disturb the status quo within your circle. Facing the new You, might shine the light on some of their own issues. And they might not be prepared to face these at all.
Let’s say you embark upon a new healthy lifestyle, lose weight, tone up your body, learn to cook some wonderful healthy meals, and your venture guides you to writing a book. Ask your loved ones for support, watch your teaching videos, promote you and buy your book, and you could be faced with resistance from some.
They are not ready to adopt or even approve of your development. Your new found knowledge, confidence and motivation is now questioning their own stance on health issues, and their own lifestyle. So, how could they possibly actively support you when it entails making changes to themselves, for which they are probably not prepared?
Indirectly, you are asking them to look at their own choices. If they were to become a follower of your teachings, they would have to buy into them. But are they ready? Are they happy to act on your advice?
They might not be at the right place at the moment, and will ignore your appeal.
But what about the friends who do not object for those reasons?
When we label our entourage according to their lifestyle, their life choices, abilities, limitations, struggles, emotions, we expect them to stay in that box forever. We might use them to measure our own success, accomplishments or even intelligence. But now that You are evolving, learning, acquiring new skills, teaching others, some friends may battle with trying to accept this new You.
Remember, they have witnessed the ‘older’ You; they even think they know you so well, in some cases, they believe they know you better than you do yourself.
Letting go of the ‘old’ You could become an Herculean task for some. Actively assisting you, will not be their priority because they want you back in your old box, the one you comfortably fitted for many years.
Your new found expertise might not be taken seriously because they can’t accept your authority on the new subject. Some will need to keep you back because they are measuring their own achievements against yours. If you evolve, they will lose their position in this new status quo.
Their lack of presence in your ‘fan club’ could be interpreted as a total disapproval of your aspirations, but their reaction has a lot more to do with themselves.
Subconsciously, they are now trying to find their place in this friendship. If you are the expert on health issues, their previous position might no longer be the same. You may even be overtaking all other knowledgeable friends on the subject. Now is a time to readjust to a new status quo.
Enjoy the friends who support you, and let go with love, the ones who don’t.
Judging your friends and family on the encouragement they give you, is giving too much power away.
Expecting total support from your entourage is unrealistic, and can only hold you back in your new project.
It is perfectly fine for you to embark upon your new path on your own, for you will attract the people you need and desire along the way.
You are the creator of your own life. You create the life that you wish to live, that which makes you happy. Faced with choices, only you know where you are headed. Allowing others to sow doubt in your mind with remarks, uncertainty, mockery, is not helping you.
We expect resistance from strangers, and the more detached you are emotionally, and personally, from someone, the less their opinions will ultimately impact on your decisions.
But faced with loved ones who doubt or mock you, the blow feels harsher.
The Universe is already delivering to you much of what you need.
I truly believe that when you are ready to bring changes to your life, you are already engaged in your new path. The Universe is already delivering to you much of what you need. Do not find the lack of support from those loved ones a stumbling block, or a reason to doubt yourself.
Simply let go of their opinions and reactions with love, and focus on your own course. You are worthy of living the life you are creating for yourself, your dreams, your aspirations. Do not worry about those who cannot understand your new choices. They also have a choice to make: They can accept the new You, or let go of you.
Feel proud of who you are, or the person you want to be.
Enjoy the wonderful friends and family who are walking by your side, cheering you on, excited for you. Those are the loved ones who accept you as you are, the ones who will stand by you when you fall and will lend a helping hand to get back up again.
Enjoy them, and bless the others.
Life flows beautifully, offering you fresh beginnings, exciting projects and ventures. People come and go; accept that it is ever-changing, and feel free, free to live the life that you want.You deserve to be happy.
Your vibration attracts your surrounding. Have faith, for the Universe is with you.
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